Tadka in telly land
From politicians taking up tasks and competing with each other on Bigg Boss, to introducing warning hooters that will well, hoot, if anyone on a chat show crosses 60 decibels (some show hosts sadly never get the message), our wishlist for the small screen in 2014 is sure to resonate with many telly viewers
Hits and promises
We can tolerate celebs selling us shampoo sachets but far-fetched dreams? C’mon! Thanks, no thanks. The likes of Rakhi Sawant and Mallika Sherawat have been fooling around with the idea of marriage. They say they’ll marry a commoner but then they never did. And that too on national television. Conclusion: Love and common sense conveniently take the backseat when gimmickry and the resulting TRPs move to the forefront. Remedy: A contract needs to be in place which will stipulate that a celeb seeking a bride/bridegroom among the aam janta not only ends up marrying the contestant (who eventually wins the reality show, obviously) but also stays together with him for at least a year -- no matter what! Not that we’re interested in their marital bliss, just that it’s more likely to ensure there won’t be another benumbing season of this mindless search for soul mates on the tube.
Switch ‘em off
Mumbaiites must have noticed TVs installed in BEST buses. Not all of them are working but let’s assume that a majority of them do. If you’re a commuter, you must have watched the sort of dull (probably paid) stuff that runs on the screen all day long. Apply the brakes and spare a thought here: wouldn’t it be nice if some entertaining programmes were shown instead of the usual drab? If nothing else, it might lighten up the mood of the frustrated-since-time-immemorial aam janta? While the bus conductor keeps demanding the exact change, this is that one change that might help bring plenty of smiles. For better or for worse, the crowd would never fail to take a break and laugh together.
Clean chit to chat shows
Whatever it is that the nation wants to know, it is certainly worth the wait. However, going by a certain Mr Goswami’s logic of time and sound, others’ opinions are subject to constraint -- according to his own sweet will. No wonder the news anchor is the undisputed national champion of interruption. The way things are right now, it’s impossible to come across a panel discussion where a ‘discussion’ comes to a plausible conclusion. Somebody or the other has to interrupt by raising his/her voice and the host is the biggest culprit in the scheme of things. So we suggest hereby that there is a warning hooter that will start out if anybody’s voice in the room crosses 60 decibels. Regardless, the audience has an advantage here because there is no limit whatsoever on their remote control.
Keep calm, yellow metal
Even if you’re as err less knowledgable as Narendra Modi is about history or Rahul Gandhi is about the future, you’ll acknowledge the adverse effect gold (or should we say, its illogical accumulation by Indians) is having on our economy. But who is going to explain this to the TV soap operas where the saas and their bahus are always decked up with the shiniest of gold designs? So much so they wear them even to their beds. They don’t seem to realise the marital troubles those excessive display of baubles have on gullible couples. (In hindsight, those couples deserve it for watching such regressive shows!) Perhaps gold mafias discreetly fund these shows. Like we always say: who knows? However, since we’re at it, why shouldn’t there be a law prescribing a limit on the amount of gold actors are allowed to wear on the small screen? What this measure means is it will put out the exact amount a particular character can ‘advertise’, for lack of better words.